Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
