i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
