i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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