Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
