cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
