whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
