I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
honey bunches of taint.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize