2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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