This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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