I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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