I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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