Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
