we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Will exercising make me less horny?
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