I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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