he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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