yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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