When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Come on in and take your pants off
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