WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
