Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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