just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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