he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
