Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
