He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
