she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
