carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This house was built for laser tag.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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