Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize