Are we in a gay sports bar?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
