ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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