That's intense
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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