I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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