Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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