I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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