My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
