You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
