Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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