i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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