I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
