I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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