I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
