i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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