Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i will never coherently bang her
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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