I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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