talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
