Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
