Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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