lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
