GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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