The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bet he comes in French.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
