1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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