I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude i'm inner monologue high
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
