i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
