just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
