Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
