Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
