fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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