I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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